The Joyful Gift Of Letting Go

blog.aspergineering.com

It was brought to my attention in a call last night ‘I DO NOT WANT’ to let go of the Duran Duran Access All Areas tour passes I am giving away in the competition I am running.

I have an attachment to them.

There is a block.

It was suggested I should wait till I am ready to give them away. Agreed, but I want to stretch.

For me it is a clearing exercise.

I am choosing to clear the block and let go.

So what is it?

What is the block?

From a logical stand point the passes have no use to me whatsoever.

Yes, they represent my memories of 15 years touring with Duran Duran as a synthesiser programmer, but beyond that they are pieces of plastic kicking around my house.

The idea that they may be worth $100 each on eBay is of no interest to me either.

I can think of easier ways of making $100.

So where is it?

Where is the block?

What am I trying to remain in control of and why won’t I let go?

It doesn’t end there either.

I have another competition running. It has NO entries. Again it is blocked. And if there is a block, the block must be in me.

The second competition is for a £500 motorcycle. The beneficiary will be a teenager.

The teenager has to find a mentor to win. Someone who will commit to training them how to build a bike. The idea being that the skills to build a bike will be passed to the next generation of bike builders. There is no shortage of mentors willing to pass on their knowledge – so again it has to be me.

The second competition is really important to me. When I have the money, my ambition is to set up a transport museum. I want to employ master craftsmen, old guys in their sixties and seventies and I want to employ teenagers and have the old guys teach them to be craftsmen.

But I thought, why wait till I have the money. I have a spare motorcycle I could give away. Why don’t I start doing it now?

I decided to do one of the exercises in my book to see if I could find a solution.

What came to mind surprised me.

It was a story of mistrust.

And my mistrust stems from a belief I inherited, a belief that is somewhat harder to shift than one I created the evidence for.

My story goes, when my Grandfather retired, he decided to sell his large country farm and put his money into stocks and bonds.

Local developers approached him to buy individual plots to build on, but my Grandfather refused to sell the farm as anything other than a going concern.

He was a genuine farmer and grew broccoli, kept cows, sheep and pigs and while he made a lot of money from spring cabbage, he liked to do a bit of everything.

He even wrote a book or two and you can find “Good Pig Keeping” and “Good Sheep Farming” on Amazon or eBay by running a search for Noel Lea Tinley

Anyway after all the offers and schemes, he finally found someone to sell the farm to and settled into retirement.

He didn’t aim to get the best price he could, he aimed to keep the farm together as a going concern.

So what happened?

Within months of buying the farm, the purchaser had planning permission and was selling it off as plots.

They even converted the barn into flats.

What is left of the farm today?

A single undeveloped field which belongs to my father and his two siblings.

I believe I know how he felt.

In my book The Logic Of Attraction I talk a lot about challenging beliefs. I actually say:

Find new evidence to challenge them. If you know their origin, check in with the person you inherited them from.
Make sure you got the right end of the stick. Maybe the person has cleared that belief for himself or herself, changed their mind, or learned something new since they taught you?

So I checked in with Dad today and I asked how Grandfather Noel had coped with what had happened.

It seems I have made up my own story about it. My story is that it really bothered him.

The reality of it is that after the farm sold, he lost interest. He had the money for his retirement and when he died, my Grandmother had plenty of money until her death.

I think my version of the story is the source of my block and I have been avoiding making the same mistake.

So, I guess I need to look at what it would mean if someone sold the things I am giving away and profited from the proceeds.

I guess I would feel like I had been suckered. (How I think my Grandfather must have felt).

I guess the DURAN DURAN competition is complex so that I can make sure the winner is not a profiteer.

I guess the motorcycle competition is the same.

Should I choose the wrong person to give the prize to?

I would feel like a bit of an idiot.

Can I trust that the Universe will guide me to give it to exactly the right person?

Yes, I think I can.

In LOVE, enjoy my competitions and I look forward to picking the winners soon.

Duran competition here: http://aspergineering.com/blog/index.php/2009/02/access-all-areas

Motorcycle competition here: http://www.britchopper.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=14939

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

creative thinker | innovator | visionary

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4 Comments

  1. Mark,

    I think I know what you mean. My son cleaned his room this weekend (gasp). In the trashbag, I found his soccer trophy that he received when he was five years old. Everybody on the team received a trophy, and maybe that fact dimished the worth in his eyes. I took it out of the trash and put it back on the shelf.

    Well, it is back in the trash. You see, I am the one who has conferred meaning on that trophy. It represents my baby’s accomplishments, what he did. I didn’t want to see it trashed. My heart ached when I threw the trashbag in the dumpster. I hadn’t lost my son. He hadn’t lost those accomplishments. I won’t forget that he was on that soccer team, will I?

    I am not a collector of anything really. I don’t care about autographs, pics with celebs, stuff. The laminates don’t really mean anything to me. I wasn’t at those concerts. I have no emotional attachment to the individual laminates. But they mean something to you. They represent your life and your accomplishments. As a gift, it means a lot and I think that whoever wins the contest will recognize them for what they are. It takes determination to let go of stuff. But no one can rob you of your accomplishments. And it sounds like you are not letting go of dreams. And that’s what is important.

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  2. sometimes you must wonder…
    is it the object… or the feeling that you truly hold on to and take with you wherever you go.

    a lock of your son’s hair
    a piece of paper… once a tree… now folded and printed and bearing a scratched name in silver sharpie

    two very different objects
    two very different feelings…

    yet very much the same.

    and once those objects are gone….
    that brand on your heart stays forever.

    therefore
    your worry….
    should ever be eased.

    🙂 D

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  3. That is a very powerful moment Mark. You should feel amazing that you’ve found this understanding. If I might tell you my story; it’s a tad long, but maybe you will relate. I had someone I loved, hurt me deeply. He took off on me and my 3 children over the summer. We had been married 14 years, broke up a bit and tried to work it out again. But sadly, it was not meant to be. But he left me and I had no idea where he went. I had to give up my apartment and move everything we had into a storage unit. Everything. My books of poems (they were my soul on paper, scrolled to keep me from breaking at some points in life). It was my children’s toys and some things from Grandmothers and loved ones past. Most of our clothing and beds. Life, in material form. Some things needed to survive, some things kept for love and to remember moments.
    I was a fool, and trusted him that he was going to help me pay for this after we found him and he said he was sorry. I forgave him and gave him a key to put some of these things in the storage so he would go half with me at the very least. 4 days later, my stuff was gone.
    Everything. I am not sure why he did what he did, but the stuff of value he took and the rest was destroyed and tossed into a giant metal garbage truck trailer. He never paid his half of the bill.
    I seen this and sat and cried. All the memories gone. The silver from Grandma, gone. My self pity poured out.
    After I cried and thought about it all gone. It hit me, how all of these things I was holding onto could have been gone in a fire, or flood. How the sentiment is still there, (hence the fact I cried). Yeah, he must have sold a lot of it for money. But he also in a way was freeing me from this mindset that we can sometimes lesson the value of these moments by putting so much into the objects that remind us. Cliché’? Yes, but its truth.
    I would never have sold the silver from my Grandmother. But it would have sat in a box, stored away, pinned with a moment of her and I.
    It hit me, I want to relive those moments with life and love, not silver plates.
    Like the law of attraction, you have to know when it’s time to let something go as well (it’s so important to have this balance). When it no longer serves you, and you might give another person a chance to have a moment from something you loved. Giving back to the Universe is an important as asking from it. What you are giving, is filled with so much love and good memories, you will have nothing but more love and good memories flooding back to you, from LIFE this time. Not just objects.
    Love and light to you!

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