Tell Me Your Life Purpose

I want you to think about your life’s purpose for a second.

Have you found one?

Or have you made one up?

And if you made one up what was it in relation to?

Were you inspired, moved to take action?

I currently have no life’s purpose because I don’t want to take responsibility for one.

When it comes to taking responsibility I worry about ‘What if I do the wrong thing?’ so I think ‘Better play safe’ and ultimately I do nothing at all.

“Discover your true passion Mark” they tell me.

What passion?

I actually don’t want to be responsible for one.

It appears to be the case that there is no inherent meaning in life, unless I make one up.

A God?

A philosophy?

A life changing challenge?

But what if I pick the wrong one and ruin it?

My life that is.

So what do I do now?

Ultimately I am the most irresponsible person on the planet.

Why?

Because I refuse to be responsible for choosing not to be responsible!

I want it all to be someone else’s call, never to be my fault.

Over the next month or so I will be looking at becoming responsible for creating the meaning in life.

If there is any meaning to life at all, then you and I are creating the meaning for it.

I have learned that playing the WHAT’S THE F***ING POINT card leaves me miserable and upset, seeking an answer, a reason for feeling lost and alone.

I have learned that playing the I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THE POINT IS card leaves me wondering at the complexity of the Universe and that moment by moment there is nothing to look for because even if I found it I would not know what it was.

I have learned I am not the body or mind and in that discover I at least an interested experiencer and observer of its habitual patterns, the habitual ‘me’ a ghost in the machine.

So what of your life’s purpose?

What is it?

How did you find it?

Comment below.

Anurajyati (be in love!)

Mark Ty-Wharton

Advertisements

4 Comments

  1. Hi Mark,

    Ha! There is no delete ; ) of course I copy + pasted first.

    So here goes. Am curious to your response!

    Dear Mark,

    I admire your courage, to show your vulnerability like this.
    On a blog that carries your true name (? I think).
    I don’t think I “count” as a real Aspie, scored 28 on that online AQ test. 32 being the starting point for Aspies.

    However.
    There’s lots of elements in the stories that resonate with me.
    It sounds like pervasive anxiety is a common theme.
    As is a lacking of certain socialisation skills, e.g. parents have not exemplified functional social/relationship behaviour.

    All these go for me, too. I suspect high scores in my family.
    As for me. At best, I felt a general numbness for most my teen, twenties and thirties- life. No one knew because the act of sunny side up was 2nd nature to me. At the worst times: depression set in. I felt so alone and unconnected. I had no purpose in life. No “real” place in society. I was like the appendix – something that can only cause nuisance. But I worked, pushed myself, to make my life work;
    finish my studies, find a job, a partner. I did succeed in these. The feeling of inner emptiness, however, remains.

    But: a burnout was inevitable. I was only spending energy, not receiving it. Not connected to my inner source that is infinite. This happened 2004.

    Then, I devoted all my powers to reconnecting with – at the outset – my feelings.
    Voice Dialogue helped me some. Then, the Human Givens approach. Paradoxically, I gradually found I suffered from an overdose of feelings: an overdose of continuous anxiety and stress (probably cortisol levels, too), alternating with manic episodes. Overdoing it, either socially or mentally. Or both. I really have to thank my excellent Human Givens coach – relaxing became easy with the short inbreath – long outbreath technique. Just count and breathe. And there was more useful stuff in the few sessions we did. Short term therapy, indeed.

    Now, over the past 7 years, gradually, I have started exercising trust on many levels in life. Including putting trust in, and coming out with, what I have really known and felt all my life:

    I am a writer.

    I am here to write, create, connect, help people. My message is actually simple: have hope, faith, and love. But to really believe that message… has taken me a couple of years, myself. And a lot of effort. Now, I am hoping to help humankind get there, and evolve to the next level of civilisation (no less! shoot for the moon ; ) ). We need compassion – for ourselves first and foremost. Then, it will be easy to offer it to eachother. We need a gentle eye. A soft word. Attention to relation.

    Now, I must also find a way to earn a living writing. This is of importance to me not just to pay the rent, but also as a means of gaining validation for the value I create. But I am taking steps. Baby steps, maybe… But taking them. Step, step, step.

    I am fairly certain anxiety has taken hold over the lives of many of us. We must, we can *simply* (I know) stop. Let go. Remember: there are few things to really fear, except fear itself. The only legitimate fear, is the one where your life is in immediate and real danger. Like when about to cross a busy road. Most other kinds shrink away when you think of what you are angry about. Your anger
    offers a clue to your “secret superpower”. Anger must not be suppressed; try looking at it with curiosity, and wonder. In what way am I not honouring the gift of my life? My ancestors? My loved ones?

    That is what is angering my soul. Do not let the anger turn inward! You must beam it out. Use it as a powerful energy, to fuel the honouring of your life, to take care of your spirit. Risk taking is essential. Because the kind of risk that makes the heart flutter like wings of a butterfly, is the kind that brings you nearer to your essence and your spirit. Where you feel vulnerable is where your secret superpower is nearby.

    The anger is what we have unlearned (read Peter Sloterdijk’s Anger and Time – he blames christianity/the Church).

    This story is my purpose. (It needs shortening, I know!).

    As an aside – and I was discussing this with a friend this afternoon – I don’t really believe in autism per se, or rather, in the value of scientific diagnose and treatment. Depending how *sorry I feel for myself*, how I would have answered the questions, I could at any point have been diagnosed with borderline, depression, manic depression type II, hypersensitivity or ADD. Probably others. This is what I call the Eeyore complex (did I just coin that? dunno); in many situations it pays * is the only behavioral option * the only way to exercise power and get attention and care* to act and feel sorry. Or even the semblance of a life’s purpose. Though obviously, it is not. The Eeyore complex is strong though,
    because it keeps a large part of the health care industry, and let’s not forget the pharmaceutical companies, afloat. That’s why it is hard to not get sucked in, taken over by it.

    However, I do believe in the value of unearthing the talents of each and everyone of us, and anyone’s social or other problems. Communication among peers is key – that’s where the relief is. And where the diagnosis and labels do come in handy. To find eachother. Like @AspieTribe found me, and I found you. But the communication must not be limited to a complaint race. The focus the dialogue needs is IMHO: how to do it? What are your everyday situations and how do you (mis)handle them? What works? How are successes booked? What failures or disappointments are inevitable? And how to deal with those?

    It looks like you have started the dialogue Mark, right here.

    Thank you. I look forward to taking part.

    Warm regards.

    Tess

    Like

  2. Dear Mark,

    I just deleted a two page comment and decided on a different (shorter) tactic.

    Start making mistakes!! Experiment. It will liberate you.
    I started with not correcting typo’s and later on, purposely adding spelling mistakes in emails (I am quite flawless naturally). Then, I moved on to not preparing a difficult phonecall completely. This turned out to be a fun game. What helped me was an excellent “improv” workshop by William Hall – he’s in San Francisco.

    Second tip. Look for your anger. It’s an excellent clue to what you feel pride about; how you want to honour your life, your ancestors, your friends, your loved ones. Start thinking about that: honour. Can you feel it? Look for it. Engage your natural curiosity. Anger and honour are better words than that trampled over, empty word “passion”. It’s too sexually tinted, thereby fleeting, anyway. Think of what would make your family, children, grandchildren proud, had you done it. I’m talking real proud here. Statue proud. Name a city proud. Think big.

    At age 37, I think I’m zoning in myself – I get thoughts of time wasted, and feel jealous of younger people who have found theirs. But then: there is no too late. There is only today. Start now. You’ve already started. Take the next step.

    For me, my purpose is: write, create, connect, help. Help bring humanity to the next level of wisdom, civilisation, collective intelligence. Bring it. I’m ready.

    I think you are too, Mark.

    You took the risk of showing your vulnerability here. That’s courage. I applaud you for that.

    Warm regards,

    Tess

    Like

    1. I really enjoyed your reply – what a shame you deleted the two page response 😦

      I was bowling along living a life’s purpose in a general sort of artistic autistic guy who talks and writes kind of sense and I realised, something is missing…

      And now I know what that is, what I was doing falls so far short of being an expression of who and what I am that I need to look again…

      Thank you for posting…

      Feel free to engage me with the two page version sometime!

      Like

  3. I notice the flame in the heart of people I am attractive with 🙂

    Those people I am attractive with are like me and that’s why we do things why we are friends – it could be said I have let down some people (musical acquaintances who have been receptive to me as an artist) yet we haven’t always clicked in a social way – some of the time amused at my aloof tendency to drift easily into a dreamworld of my own – also can be said that they are glad to see a strength in me and independence of my singular vision

    I have friends I really do and see how we contribute to each other in respect of Art (we connect as like-minds)

    Ultimately I can often see what people can do for each other

    My life’s purpose?

    A bridge for other people on the journey – a space – never to inform people what to do – but see people for who they really are and to common up interests and share!

    My definition of music composition as deepest role play expressing itself and delighting in the creation of it proud of the hues visiting the feeling over and over again in essence a catharsis shared as a performance and/or amongst the audience and listener. In my personal taste I am compelled to retreat into myself to look for the magic rather than creating socially made music with other individuals and musical opinion – engineer however being imperative

    Those who have shown effort and dedication to my well-being have my acknowledgement and I look with intent to satisfaction gratis

    Like

Comments are closed.