In a strange way trying to ignore limitations has been more limiting.
The limitation is anxiety. I simply won’t accept myself. I see myself as pathetic or weak because I find it hard to socialise. Taking medication would also be a weakness, so I don’t do it.
So here I am sitting at home, relying on this blog and a couple of books for income. going out to work a regular nine to five simply isn’t in my remit.
Think about the last time you made a donation to a blog. If it was this one, thank you. If it wasn’t, the donate button is in the column to your left, thank you. Anyway, with over four hundred articles to choose from, where is the limitation?
The limitation is in my attitude. Mainly in my attitude towards myself and the key? acceptance.
As a speaker, I accept performance anxiety as a part of the job. You might be interested to know the anxiety I experience when speaking pales in comparison to the social anxiety in situations where I am not very sure of myself.
Which brings me around to drugs. if I accepted my limitations and took medicine for anxiety would I be better off?
In the past I have used alcohol to oil the wheels of connection. A man with no social skills who thinks he has them while drunk is a man three blows from a knock out. I have had some hairy near misses with some very angry people. And God help anyone who has witnessed one of my drunken melt downs.
It is a stigma you see. If I have a few drinks it is considered manly. If I have to take anxiety pills I am a wuss. my interpretation maybe? My limitation.
I aim to explore medication more, to consider if there might be better outcomes for me. I hope to provoke discussion among the Aspergers community and I invite your response.
Anurajyati (be in love!)