Hair Today, Gone To Myopia

Hair Today, Gone To Myopia

I admit it, I am going bald.

But long before the reality of the fine mist of baby hair which once covered my shower of manhood, when my bald spot was just an apple in my mind’s eye, I visited a Chinese apocathery for some advice.

I bought some hair tonic at something like fifty pounds a bottle and started to apply it to my crown and cranium.

Jump forward more years than I care to mention and for some God forsaken reason it is still in the fridge, behind various other items too numerous to list which are growing things other than hair.

“Tidy up while I am away” she said and left me in the rain while she basks in sunnier climes. The Canary Islands I hear are rather good at this time of year?

On discovery, it seemed like a good idea to empty the contents into the sink, then put the container in the recycling. After all, it is plastic and that is what good citizens do these days, save the planet.

There is a fine nozzle on this container and it is designed to dispense the afore mentioned liquid topically and in small quantites.

I squeezed and things were going slower than expected.

I squeezed a bit harder, much better.

Just a bit harder then BANG!

I should have known Chinese plastic would go brittle after years of containing a substance which smelled rather like brandy and something else, what was it now?

I am putting my money on burnt bakelite. All those war time electrical plugs ground into a fine paste?

So the story here is about two things. Hairy eyes and the miraculous.

The fluid made a b line for my face and narrowly missed the cat, he is still looking a bit puzzled now.

My eyes closed and hopefully the stinging was from the fumes in my eye lashes and not from the actual liquid in the eye, or sometime soon, I will have to take up shaving them.

I acted quickly and washed as much as I could from my face and ran upstairs and jumped in the shower.

Lord knows what it will do to my beard because despite vigorous washing I can still smell it.

I am also hoping it is not in my ears because that is the last place I need to encourage hair growth.

So the miracle is human reflexes. The person I know myself to be had no say in the matter. The eyes simply closed.

It really makes sense of that phrase ‘in the blink of an eye’.

But imagine if we could invent a field of psychology which could make changes at that level?

I have no idea how fast the fluid was travelling, but my eye saw it and made a decision to close.

If only we could tweak aspects of persona before we had a say in it.

Think of the repercussions for things like anxiety and depression.

If doctors could go in and fine tune, we could even end anger and war.

See you on the other side of the looking glass,

Anurajyati (be in love!)

Mark Ty-Wharton

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